From the Journal
by TPDot Writer
Summary: Alex finds a well-hidden journal in Justin's room while looking for new blackmail material. Not that she cares about his life, but when she reads his most important secret, their relationship is threatened by the feelings that are revealed when a confrontation happens. JALEX fanfiction.
1. When Everything Goes Haywire

Chapter 1 – When Everything Goes Haywire

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**A/N **This is my first story ever published. So please reply to tell me what you think. I'm posting the complete story so you people can enjoy it. Again, english is not my first language, so if find any mistakes, let me know. If you people like this story, I have others in the making, that can be published soon. At first, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but got too big. Still, it is shorter than my others. I hope you enjoy, people. Anyway, let me know.

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At a very young age, the Russo siblings, Justin and Alex, were basically inseparable. They did not have many other friends so they spent much of their free time playing together around the house or in the family diner, that was set beneath their apartment. Looking at the siblings now, you would never guess, but that was a perfect time for them.

That until Justin decided he had become a big boy, and that big boys don't play home with their baby sisters. From then on, Justin wouldn't spend that much time with Alex, only the necessary, mainly during their wizarding lessons. But Alex didn't like that new arrangement. She wanted to play with him, be next to him, so she started using any resources she had that would end up bringing him close to her. And that was how the pranks started.

To this day, that behavior continues and it became a constant in their lives. Every time Alex pulls a prank on Justin, he comes and yells at her, curses her … but he comes. She doesn't even know why she does that anymore, she doesn't remember how it started, only that she feels better when he comes, when she is feeling a little down.

Today she feels that she needs something to cheer up her day, but she doesn't have anything, nothing that would bring him to her. So, she goes to his room. Over time, she have repeatedly searched all of his common hiding places, so she knows she needs to look somewhere else for new places. And that is what she does, even looking at the not so hidden spots, like under his bed … yeah, she wishes it would be that easy … Finally she finds something. A few journals placed on the back of a drawer in his wardrobe. Wow! Journals are a whole new level. This is even better than taking his Captain JimBob Sherwood junk. She takes one and runs back to her room where she puts it somewhere safe.

The excitement of the discovery keeps her motivated, so the journal stays untouched for a whole day. But really, what does she care about his life? However, in a moment of weakness - if you can even call it that - when she has absolutely nothing else to do, she gives in to curiosity.

"Pff! Whatever!" She scuffs and takes the journal.

Not that she was expecting something bombastic, or even of any significance, but … could this be any more boring? She doesn't care that he learned how to make someone dissolve into liquid. - Ew! - However, she keeps reading. There has to be something she can use against him.

Now she gets to a point she recognizes. Justin writes about how their father gave him the family wand. And she is still not over that, by the way! Justin writes a little bit about Puerto Rico. Then, something weird. For a few pages, Justin starts writing, but stops just a few sentences after as if he had given up on writing whatever that was. But the serious tone is an indication that it is something important.

Things like this come up repeatedly. _"What the hell am I doing? I have to stop with this."_ Or things like_ "I can't do that anymore. I can't stand being with …"_ and the phrase stops, just like that. Or still _"This stops now."_

Okay, this cryptic writing is starting to get annoying, it not only doesn't tell anything but also is getting Alex so curious that she even considers asking Justin about it. Then she turns the page and, after some more ramble, she finally finds a long text that promises to bring some light to what all this mess is about.

_"I've had enough. I can't keep doing this to myself. And if she finds out, there's no spell to fix it. I can't do this to her."_

Great, now she knows there is a girl involved. If she finds out who she is, a new level of blackmail is coming Justin's way.

_"So this is what I am going to do. I'll admit it only once and will never let this out again. I'm going to start dating, and I'll forget her and she will never find out about it, even if I have to erase what happened completely from my mind."_

Oh, this is going to be so good. Alex flips to the next page.

_"I'm in love with Alex!"_

The shock makes Alex to throw the journal to the other side of the room. No! She did not just read this. It was just her mind playing tricks on her. She slowly walks to the journal and stoops down to catch it. She stays there, with her hand in the air, almost touching it but afraid of doing so like it is scorching hot, maybe it is radioactive, who knows. But Alex takes the journal. She has to check it for sure.

She sits on her bed, afraid that her knees are going to fail her in case she is not crazy. Quickly, she flips the pages back to where she was and stares at the words in Justin's handwriting.

_"I'm in love with Alex!"_

Dammit! There they are. They are really there, he wrote that. How could he?

_"There! It's done! Now I'm gonna find a way to get rid of this. I know there is a way. Maybe I should look into WizardWeb."_

Okay, Alex has to admit it, she is scared. That, written in Justin's handwriting is weird. She can't stop looking at it. But looking at it gets her more scared. Crap, panic is building up. She cannot have a panic attack. She is not going to have a panic attack. To hell with it!

"Aaahhhh!" Alex screams and throws the journal away again. She stands up and starts pacing back and forth in her room, trying to control her breathing.

It takes some time for her to get back to normal and be able to think clearly again. When she does, she has to make some sense out of it. She has to understand what was going on when he wrote that. There has to be an explanation.

She stays in her room, thinking, going through the journal again, and then again, looking for clues. But there is nothing; nothing that she hadn't seen. This can't be happening.

"Justin can't be in love with me!" She finally says it aloud after saying it in her head several times, just to see if sinks in. No, it doesn't.

Alex keeps thinking about it. The flutter in her stomach is still bothering her. Until …

"Wait!" Alex finally got something. "That bastard is trying to prank me. He wrote this on purpose for me to see it. He was trying to scare me. Then I would stay away from him" Alex's face scrunches up in a fit of anger hardly seen. How dare he prank her with something like this. This is so wrong … and sick. "Oh, boy. He is so gonna have it."

Alex stands up from her bed and angrily stomps out of her room. She goes down stairs to the loft and finds Justin on the couch, reading a book, and Max in the kitchen doing … well, something, she doesn't really give a damn. Alex sees red when she looks at Justin, but not in the traditional way, she actually sees blood in his future.

Alex sneaks up on Justin from behind and pinches his ear. Justin screams … like a girl. He then freezes in place not to get any more hurt.

"Get up!" The anger is all over her voice. Justin does exactly what she says, and rounds the couch to get closer to her.

"To my room, NOW!" Alex orders.

"Okayyy!" Justin cries before starts walking to the stairs, and Alex keeps him on track still holding his ear.

They get to Alex's room and she finally lets him free. Justin immediately holds his ear and checks for blood, while Alex closes and locks her door. When he looks at her, the evil face she has on is the most scary he has ever seen.

"Wha … What is the problem?" Justin stutters.

"You have a LOT to explain."

"What do you mean?" Justin questions, with fear now taking the best of him.

Alex walks past Justin to the corner of her room and takes something from the nightstand that Justin cannot identify at first and it only comes to him when she turns around and almost shoves it on his face.

"What the hell is this?" She asks.

"MY JOURNAL!" Justin panics and gives a step toward Alex. But she hides the journal behind her back.

"Not a single step or I'll tell Mom!" Justin stops, not really sure what she means. All of his journals are practically the same and he can't tell specifically which one this is. He doesn't know what she is holding against him, but in those journals there are several things she sure could use.

"Give it back to me!" He demands.

"Not yet." Alex yells at him, cutting him off. "Did you really think you could prank me like this?" Her fierce tone keeping Justin from saying anything else. "This is not funny. It's just sick. It's so beneath you, how could you go that low."

"What are you talking about?" Justin asks seriously confused.

"Really?" Alex flips the pages to the important part. "I've had enough." She reads from the journal. "I can't keep doing this to myself. And if she finds out, there's no spell to fix it. I can't do this to her."

On Justin's face only panic is seen now, especially because of how pale he suddenly became. "So this is what I am going to do. I'll admit it only once and will never let this out again."

Justin shoots against Alex, he tries to take the journal but she resists. She keeps it away from him for a little bit, but then, in a way she never expected coming from Justin, he grabs her wrist with a strength he never used before. He hurts her, more than just physically, when he pulls turning her to him. Alex stares in his eyes, genuinely scared for his behavior and the fierce look on him, while he yanks the journal from her hand. When he releases her, she drops on her bed, paralyzed by his attitude, and watches him turn around and leave her room with quick steps, no other word said. She only snaps out when she hears the sound of his door slamming shut.

For a second, Alex doesn't know what to do, she doesn't understand what just went through his head to act like this. She ponders if she should go and demand an explanation or wait to do it later. Oh, hell, when did she leave things for later! She stands up and stomps to his door.

"Justin!" She yells. "What the hell was just that?" She waits for a reply but only silence follows, not a single noise comes from inside, like he isn't even there.

"What the hell is wrong with you? How dare you hurt me? You come out here right now and talk to me!" Still nothing.

"Justin, I know you are in there!" Alex waits for a few more seconds, stunned by everything. "Justin!" She tries one last time, but on this one her voice fades a little bit. She walks back to her room and closes the door.

Why would he act like that? If that was a prank, maybe he has forgotten about it, and maybe got embarrassed that he would even think about doing it? And why would he hurt her because of it? Only if … no, there was no way this could be true. They are like nemesis. He would never fall for a girl like her. And why is she even thinking that?

Justin doesn't come down for dinner. When Jerry calls for everyone, he notices that Justin is not around.

"Alex, go call Justin to come down." He asks.

"If I go, then he is really not coming down." Alex answers.

Jerry stops and gives Alex an angry look for a second while Max and Teresa take their seats. "What did you do?"

"Okay, I know that this is usually the case, but this time it wasn't my fault."

"Fine!" Jerry agrees, unwillingly. "Max, go up and call your brother."

"But I'm already eating!" Max complains. But his father's mad face makes him go.

However, Max comes back down after also getting no response from Justin. Again, not even a sound. They finish dinner without him. Later, Teresa worries and tries herself. She knocks on his door, calls him to come down and eat something, even says that Alex had already gone to bed, but nothing.

In her room, Alex can't stop thinking about it. For hours she tries to imagine another reason for Justin's behavior, but she falls asleep before getting anywhere.


	2. The Pain of the Absence

Chapter 2 – The Pain of the Absence

The next day comes and Alex wakes up late, actually, later than usual. She thought about trying to catch Justin before he left to school, but right now he is probably already there. After dressing up and getting ready, she only has time to pick two cereal bars for breakfast before leaving, that she eats in the subway on her way to school.

When she gets there, she takes a quick round on Justin's favorite spots and he is not at any. Before she can go to Justin's first class, Harper finds her and forces her into her own class, which she can't skip anymore. By the way, of course she knows Justin's schedule, how else is she going to avoid him? Throughout the day, she goes from class to class waiting for him, but he is not there, so on her way back home she knows he skipped school. Things can't be this serious. He cannot be that embarrassed by that journal. Unless … No. She refuses to think that is true.

Alex comes in the SubStation, already looking around for Justin. Then she takes a quick peek in the lair and it is empty. Upstairs, in the living room, Teresa is on the couch, reading the newspaper.

"Mom! Where's Justin?" She asks before anything.

"Honey … "

"I didn't see him at school!"

"Honey, what happened between you two?" Teresa asked with some pain.

"Why? … Where is he?"

Teresa gives a deep sigh. "He left!"

"What!" Her entire body trembled. How can this be so serious? "No. How can he leave? Where did he go?"

"Last summer, Professor Crumbs offered him an internship at WizTech. He didn't accept then because of school. But now it's almost over, and he has all the credits, and all the teachers let him take the tests while he is away." Teresa summarized.

"No! He can't leave! He can't do this to me!" Alex lets out in a fit of anger, because she knows what that could mean, then she runs upstairs going straight to Justin's room. One look inside is enough to see the difference. Some of his dolls (Whatever!) and some of his equipments are gone. The things that he used all the time, that used to stay on top of his furniture, are now gone. She drops her bag on the floor, and doesn't even care if anything breaks. Now she really is afraid. She wants to do something, but what!? And more important, should she, even?

Alex sits on Justin's bed, this whole situation playing like a thousand miles per hour in her head. She has to decide what to do, and the worst part is that she can't count on anyone this time. She leans against the headboard and hugs her legs, she doesn't even see the time passing. No, she can't let go and do nothing. She has to talk to him, if not to be sure what's going on, to tell him it's okay to come back home, that she is not going to tell anyone.

She gets up and takes her cell phone from her bag. He is the second number on her speed dial. Harper is the first, of course, but now it hits her how many times she needed him, that is why it is so important. The number! Of course she is thinking about his number.

The call is ringing. And ringing. And it keeps ringing for so long that it feels like tomorrow is coming any time soon. Then it falls on his stupid voicemail message. "Dammit!" She calls again. It rings for like minutes. And again falls on his voicemail and she hangs up. "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE CALL, STUPID!" She feels like throwing her phone away, but she doesn't, it is an expensive phone and she is not done calling him.

She tries a few other times to no avail. Dinner goes on in silence for everyone, well, not for Max, he is oblivious to the whole situation. He actually knows something is up, but doesn't really mind. What he doesn't know is that Jerry is a little mad at Alex, because he still thinks it is her fault that Justin left.

Alex goes straight to her room and balls on her bed. Maybe she will feel a little better tomorrow. Later, Teresa comes to her room to check on her.

"Honey, are you alright?" She asks from the door, peeking in through a small gap.

"Yeah!" Her muffled voice doesn't send a whole lot of assurance.

Teresa comes in and sits on the bed. "Whatever happened, I'm sure he will get over it. And then he will come back."

"Pfff! Like I even care." Again Alex's words are not convincing. Teresa knows she cares, she has seen Alex calling Justin several times and how angry she got when he didn't answer. She caresses the back of Alex's head. "Things will work out. You'll see." Teresa goes away.

The next day, after she comes back from school, she realizes she didn't try to use her wand to call him. She takes it from her boot and dials his number. Voicemail again and the renewed excitement dies out.

Alex calls every day, sometimes she just hangs up after the message, sometimes she tries to say a few words.

It's weekend, and Alex comes down the stairs and sees her mother on the phone. For a second she watches her mother listening.

"I don't know, son!" Teresa replies.

"Is that Justin!" Alex fires away, already rushing to her mother. She snatches the phone and puts on her ear.

"Justin, is that you?" She just hears the steady tone of the disconnected call. She looks at her mother in sadness and disappointment. "He hung up on me!"

Teresa looks for the right comforting words to say to her daughter, but she can't find any, she is as stunned as Alex is. Alex slams the phone on the hook and runs to her room.

However, she doesn't give up, and keeps calling him every day. One day she even tries to call him stupidly early. Maybe, if she gets him in a sleepy haze, he will answer without noticing she is on the line. She planned to say just "Come back, please!" No doubt he would notice her voice, but it would be too late. But she never had the chance. Not even then he took the call.

Another week goes by and she prepares to call again. Only this time she has an idea to make him answer. She steals Max's cell phone and calls him. When Justin takes the call, he answers with anger. "No, Max! I told you, changing your hands into feet won't make easier to clip your toenails."

Silence is all he gets for a couple of seconds. "Max?"

"Don't you dare hang up on me!" Alex finally lets herself known with an angry tone. Now he is the one in complete silence. He doesn't hang up, though.

"So I am the only one you are not talking?" Alex practically curses. "Why did you run away? Do you have any idea the hell I've been through?"

"Alex! I can't talk right now, and …"

"No! You can't talk because you are avoiding me. Since you left, you talk to everyone else but me."

"Alex …"

"Fine, I took your stupid journal. I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone what you wrote there. Now, would you please talk to me?"

"Sorry. I can't!"

And he hangs up again. Alex wishes she was mad, but all she feels is sadness and an emptiness inside her that only gets bigger.

A few more days go by. That sadness she fells simply refuses to go away. By now, she thought that she would get used to not having him around, but every time she comes down for any meal, she still misses the feeling of him across the table.

Today is a bad day for Alex. Earlier, she was in the lair trying to make a spell she found in a book when Max sneaked up on her. He scared her the moment she cast the spell and it flew everywhere before hitting Max. He was turned into a garbage can (Yeah! Again!), and she didn't even know what she did wrong, that was not even what the spell should do. It was supposed o put Justin into a garbage can, since the spell was protected, they would have to call her to undo the spell.

Usually she would run to Justin for help but he was not there. She has to tell her father and take the consequences, meaning he grounds her for a week. To her luck, Teresa convinces Jerry not to take away her cell phone. She had seen Alex calling Justin every now and then and was rooting for them to make up.

Alex runs up to her room and locks the door behind her. She uses her phone to call Justin. The voicemail answers again. Crying, Alex throws the cell to the other side of the bed. She can't stop crying for a long time. It is just a week away from making two months that he left, that he talked to her face to face. Now she knows he is not going to answer to her.

Alex keeps calling him, anyway, just to listen to his voice. She tries not to cry again, but it is getting harder and harder to resist when all she wants is to ball her eyes out. And she hates him even more for making her feel all this.

Alex hates this situation, but she is not giving up. She keeps calling Justin, everyday. It makes two months tomorrow, she has to say something but she is too broken for anything else but to show how she really feels. "Justin, please comeback. That old smelly school is not your place. You should be here, with m… with the family." She could not let herself slip again. And she finishes with such a broken voice that is scary. "Please, come back!" She curls up on her bed and cries, hugging her pillow for comfort, but it is not like hugging … no she is not going to think that.

Even if Alex can't give up, Teresa if fed up with this whole situation. She is tired of seeing Alex try everything to reach out for Justin and get nothing in return, and then suffer alone. She can't stand anymore to see Alex destroying herself.

Teresa calls Justin and leaves him a message to call her up later. These days, is the only way to talk to him over the phone. A couple of hours later he calls home and Teresa takes it.

"Justin, I don't care what happened between you and Alex, but what you are doing to her now is destroying her. So, I don't care what you are doing, tomorrow you are coming home and you are going to talk to Alex to sort this through."

"Mom, I…"

" Stop it! No excuses! You are coming and you are gonna do as I'm asking. See you tomorrow." This time around, Teresa hangs up on him, not leaving space for him to contradict her or give any more excuses. He is coming, even if she has to call for Professor Crumbs' help, or go herself after Justin.


	3. Confronting the Feelings

Chapter 3 – Confronting the Feelings

It's next day, already. A Sunday afternoon. Alex decides to take a bath, so she fills the tub to have a relaxing time. She stays in there long after her fingers get wrinkled, but after, she does feel a little better; more relaxed, at least.

She dries herself and applies a full body lotion, the one that smells like vanilla. Nothing to do with the fact that Justin said he liked the smell. She puts on a robe and decides to wait for the lotion to dry in her room.

The moment Alex opens the bathroom door she has the shock of her life when she sees Justin leaning on the opposite wall, apparently waiting for her. She screams and slams the door shut on his face. Justin is stunned and doesn't know what to do.

"Alex…"

"Shut up!" Alex yells from inside the bathroom. "And don't you dare go away!"

She stays in there, looking at her image on the mirror, telling herself she is ready to face him, that she is strong enough to talk to him and not kill him, or maybe do something worse. And yes, there is something worse than killing him. She takes a couple of deep breaths and gets back to the door. When she opens it, Justin is there, waiting for her in front of the door. She notices it is painful for him to stare straight at her. Good!

Alex comes out of the bathroom, passing by Justin on her way to her room. "Come!" She says with a stern tone but not looking at him or turning back. She stops by her door, hand on the doorknob making sure he knows there would be only them in there, daring him to face her alone.

He comes in, her face is locked on the wall with mad eyes until he is past her. Then she closes and locks the door. No one is coming for rescue, no matter what happens. Alex walks to the window, looking outside just so she doesn't have to look at Justin.

"It was true, isn't it?" Alex's voice comes out almost broken, far from her usual confidence. "It wasn't you just trying to scare me. Or pull a prank on me."

She doesn't hear a response from him, so she looks back. He is facing the floor between them, his breathing is loud and trembling; and he shakes his head. He can't say 'no', he is not strong enough to say that out loud. Alex body is shaking, one thing was knowing in theory, but his confirmation makes everything become frighteningly real.

The pain in her voice is gut-wrenching. "How could you do this to me, Justin? You know I've been reading your journals since I was twelve. Why would you write that if you knew I could read it?"

"Sorry!" Even though shy and broke, his apology was honest, he truly hated himself for causing her this much angst.

"Sure you are." She lowers her face to cover it with her hands, rubbing as if trying to wake up from a bad dream. "How did it happen?"

"Alex…!" He begs her.

"I want to know!" She demands with as much conviction as she can muster, it still sounded faint, though. Justin has no strength to resist anymore. He looks back to the floor in shame as he starts his story.

"We were in Puerto Rico, you had just won the wizard competition. Suddenly, I didn't know who I was, where I was … But there was this beautiful girl in front of me. I thought to myself 'This must be the most beautiful girl in the world!' "

Alex can't help herself but peek back at Justin by over her shoulder. She never knew he thought that about her.

"She was balling her eyes out, beging for my help. … She started saying all these amazing things about me. And she said she loved me. … That felt so great … When she said she was my baby sister, I didn't believe her. … I thought it would be too cruel if that were true. … Then something started taking me away. We were getting further and further apart. And then … Nothing … … Then, somehow, I was back at the beach. For the tiniest fraction of a second, that girl came to mind along with everything that she made me feel. And then I remembered. That is Alex, my baby sister. I tried to shake off what I felt, for days I kept thinking of when we were little, to sink into my brain who you are. But it doesn't work that way. Once something crosses your mind, it doesn't go away that easy. I kept seeing that beautiful girl from the beach. And I couldn't run away from you, so … everything only got worse."

Okay, of every sick story Alex imagined Justin could say, that was actually … not sick at all. But she can't forget all that she has been through.

"How could you attack me like that? … And then run away? You just disappeared in the middle of the night, then you ignored me like I didn't deserve an explanation, like I wasn't here, without you, suffering just as much."

Alex stops for a moment, she takes a deep trembling breath, trying to calm down, and get rid of the anger buylding up inside her. She continues in a more soft tone, full of sorrow.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. I called you every single day. I couldn't stop worrying about you. And now I think I'm … … How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

Alex turns around angry, her teary face hurts Justin so much.

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WAIT FOR LIKE A DAY AND CAME BACK SAYING IT WAS A PRANK? … Just a payback for everything I did to you." She yells at him, and then stomps his way, crying, and starts hitting his chest with her clenched fists. "How could you do this to me?"

He can only put his arms up to protect himself. "Brother and sister can't be in love with each other." She lets out.

Justin finally holds her both arms. She still tries to hit him a few times but she is not strong enough. Then she realizes what she just said. Until now, she didn't dare to say that out loud, hoping it would disappear, that it was only her hurt, worried, confused brain playing tricks on her. However, she cannot pretend it is not happening, that she is not feeling this. She keeps facing down, panting, escaping from his eyes, unable to keep fighting.

"What did you say?" Justin asks, in absolute shock. Alex just shakes her head, paralyzed.

Justin pulls her up to look at her in the eyes, in her bulging, scared eyes. "Alex, what did you say?"

Alex cannot say it again, she would not dare to do that. But she doesn't have to. Justin wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. They look into each other's eyes and Alex has no more strength to fight, either his proximity or how it makes her feel when Justin slowly starts to lean in. Closing her eyes is the only thing Alex can do to escape what is about to happen, what she cannot fight.

Their lips touch. Alex can't do much more than to just accept the kiss, a quick touch of lips that ends too soon. The small distance that Justin takes is still close enough for her to feel him, light touches of his face against hers. Alex opens her eyes and Justin kisses her again, this time he puts all the feeling he has been keeping inside, and Alex gives him the same emotion. Then, at the same time, their tongues search for each other and at the first contact, they both feel their entire bodies tremble. The kiss lasts just a few seconds, but it is too much.

Alex finally finds the strength to push away from Justin. She doesn't look at him, just gives a few steps back until she sits on her bed, breathing heavily, unsure of what to do or to think. She honestly never thought about kissing him, actually she dismissed any thoughts that went beyond hugging him. At some point even hugging him felt painful. Well, thinking about something worse than killing Justin, there it go.

Alex is sitting on her bed, ashamed and embarrassed, she just wants to crawl under her bed and never leave. Not for kissing Justin, but for liking it so much. He walks to her and kneels in front of her, he is more nervous now than when Alex read the infamous paragraph in his journal. He takes her hand and waits until she can look at him. When she does, she looks so confused and lost at first that he considers moving away from her. His body starts to straighten but her hand slowly moves to his jacket, holding him in place. A very light pull is enough to bring him closer. And they kiss again. Alex has to try, she has to be sure.

Justin comes even closer, he wraps one arm around her waist to get their bodies in contact again. The kiss is rough, tongues everywhere in a passionate make out. Then he pushes her over the bed, getting on top of her without breaking apart. Alex starts feeling her robe slowly moving apart exposing more of her chest, sensing his heat against her skin, feeling the nearing nudity. Then it hits her, like a slap on her face. She is not ready. She cannot do this.

Alex turns her face to the side, escaping from him. "No! … No. No." She says in a cry. "Justin, stop it. I can't!"

Justin, more than readily, jumps off of Alex and sits beside her. Alex holds both sides of her robe squeezing then together to cover herself. "I'm sorry! I can't" She cries again.

Worried and guilty, Justin tries to apologize. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed." Alex brings herself up, still squeezing her robe closed up on her chest, cleaning some tears from her face. "Alex, the last thing I want is to hurt you more."

"I'm sorry I'm not ready." Alex says a little more calm.

"And it's okay if you're not." Justin assures her, taking her hand with both of his. "I know this is asking too much, and I would never force you into this."

"Thanks!" Alex says.

And Justin takes on. "Look, this is all too much, for both of us. So … I'm still in the middle of my internship. … So I'm gonna go back there and you'll have all the space you need to think about everything." Alex looks at Justin with a little disappointment. So he continues. "I know I'm not gonna be here, but I'm not gonna ignore your calls anymore. You can call me anytime, if you wanna talk. And, whatever it is, it's always easier to say it over the phone."

Alex looks down for a moment and nods. Then she turns to Justin and hugs him tight. And Justin reassures her. "If you need anything, or whatever you decide, I will always be there. Promise."

"Okay." Alex backs away and Justin stands up. He looks back at her with a smile before closing the door behind him, leaving her alone again.

He comes down the stairs and Teresa is waiting for news. The moment he sees her, he stops for a second when a chill runs down his spine, but he moves on, he has to tell his mother something.

"So how did it go?" She asks with a thinly veiled excitement.

"Well …we talked. Not everything is settled, but …" Justin gives a deep breath. "… we talked."

"That's a good start!" Teresa smiles to her son.

Justin nods. "Mom, I'm going back to WizTech, now."

"Oh, no. Justin!"

"No, Mom. Really, this time is the right thing to do. I'm not running away, I'm giving her some space. Then …we'll see." Teresa pats his arm.

"Whenever she is ready to talk, she just have to call me."

"So no more ignoring her?" Teresa smiles again.

"No more ignoring. Whatever happens, if she needs me, she knows where I am."

"That's a good thing." Teresa moves closer and hugs Justin. "Does that mean you're not staying for dinner?"

"Sorry, Mom. Alex needs some time off, now. And I'm gonna give it as much as she wants."

"Okay. Goodbye, then."

"Bye, Mom."

Justin goes away, straight back to WizTech, and Teresa goes up to check on Alex. She knocks on the door. "Alex, can I come in?"

"Yeah!" Alex says from inside, barely loud enough for Teresa to hear. She comes in and Alex is sitting on the bed, already in new clothes, looking at her magazine. Teresa sits beside her, and she drops the magazine on her night stand.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Her soothing voice feels so refreshing.

Alex takes a second to answer, while Teresa patiently waits. "I'm … … I'm confused." Alex looks up at her mother. "But he told what happened, and I know it wasn't his fault." She takes a deep breath. "I'm still a little mad about the way he left, though."

"Maybe he was just scared!" Teresa tries to put a good word for Justin

"I know he was. And that's also a little bit my fault." Alex recognizes, painful as it is.

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is that he made me feel terrible. And I'm still mad at him for that."

"But you love your brother, right?"

Oh, man! That catches Alex completely by surprise. She looks at her mother, eyes wide. She disguises it but probably not quickly enough. She looks down sheepishly. What else could she say?

"Yeah!" Comes out from her mouth in an almost whisper.

"Then everything will sort itself out!" Teresa assures her wrapping her arm around Alex's shoulders and pulling her head to rest on her shoulder.

After this day, Justin does as he promised. He keeps his distance from home, he doesn't even call. However more than a week has already passed, and Alex has not called him. From seeing her calls on his notifications every day for two whole months, and all the messages she left while he avoided her, to having no return from her is killing him. The idea that she may have decided that the best thing to do is to stay apart until those feelings go away is terrifying him, especially after tasting her soft lips with her body against his.

Justin is going crazy. He is almost calling her. No! He has to control himself. He is looking like a desperate boyfriend. Damn! The B word in his head again. It has to stop.

A few more days and Justin cannot take it anymore. He makes the call to Alex's phone.

When Alex sees Justin's number on her screen she feels a chill throughout her body. She lets it ring a few times, deciding if she should take it, but she remembers how she felt when he ignored her and she can't do the same to him. Well, she could, but that doesn't mean it would make her feel good.

"Hey!" She answers him.

"Hi!" Justin said, a little bit more excited than the chilled out front he decided to put on for her. "Err! I was just talking to Dad …"

"Yeah, I heard." She interrupts him.

"Well … I asked him how you were doing but he said I should call you instead. So … How are you doing?"

"I'm good!" She says shortly.

"Good! So, how are the finals going?"

"Studying sucks! … But Harper is helping me out."

"Great! And … How are things with you and Mom?"

"Well, after you came she started bothering me to talk to you."

"Hey … Dad told me something about you turning Max into a garbage can. What was that all about?"

"Uhm …Nothing!" Alex can't tell him what she was going to do. "I gotta go."

"Wait! Alex!" Justin yells on the phone.

Alex hears and brings it up to her ear again. "What?"

"Are you … … Are you still mad at me?"

"Bye, Justin!" Alex hangs up. She doesn't want to be mean, or even penalize Justin for anything. She simply doesn't know how to answer this question. She feels so much right now, so many conflicting and confusing emotions, that she doesn't know how she is going to feel when this entire situation settles down.

The next day, Justin has just finished teaching a class as substitute. He is right outside his dorm room when his phone rings. He takes his keys from one pocket, and his phone from the other. It's Alex. He rushes into his room, throws his bag over the bed and sits on a chair.

"Hi! Alex?"

"I'm still mad at you!" She shoots at him right away.

"Okay. I deserve some of that." Justin acknowledges.

"You hurt me."

"I know … and I'm sorry."

"You just ran away. You didn't even try to fix anything. … I was so mad at you."

"I was scared." Justin tries to defend himself.

"And I was broken. … And I couldn't even talk to anybody."

"Neither could I, ever since Puerto Rico."

A long silence follows, but neither of them wants to hang up. And this gives time for their emotions to subside. If things continued this path, they could harm their relationship more than it already is, and they know it.

Still, Alex needs him to know how she feels. "There are days when I'm so pissed off for how you made me feel that I could just kill you." Justin can hear her breathing on the phone. "But then, there are days that I …" Alex can't say it. She can barely accept it herself, much less admit it to him. "… That I don't."

"That seems like most of our time together." It is just a joke. Justin knows what she means, even if she would not say it. She kissed him back. He remembers every second of their kisses and every sensation her lips brought him. She is confused but she loves him too.

Finally, Justin notices the enduring silence. He has been inside his head for so long that he didn't realize that Alex is silent for a long time.

"Alex?"

"Yeah!"

"You mean you are confused!" Justin concludes for her.

" … I am!" She answers, hesitantly.

"Then I think you have to decide what is more important."

"I guess!" The uncertainty she lets out feels so distressful to Justin.

"Alex!"

"I gotta go!" Alex says and hangs up the phone. Again. No, it is not that easy. It is not just a question of what is important. Everything is at stake, their entire lives. And he is leaving the decision entirely to her. Even if Justin has already made his choice, she feels this is a pressure she is not ready take. It feels so unfair to her. She needs to think this through, more than she has ever done. She has to be sure, no shadow of a doubt.


	4. What Binds us

Chapter 4 – What Binds us.

A few days later, one more day is over and Justin walks back to his dorm room, after teaching another class as a substitute. When he takes the turn to his hallway, absolute shock hits him by the sight of Alex, sitting on a bench across his door. He is frozen still by her presence, in absolute fear of what this means, that she finally decided what she wants, and has chosen to tell him in person. He doesn't know exactly how long he stood there, just looking at her, before she notices him. She stands right away, but just as he is, she is frozen, waiting for his reaction, not a movement, not a word.

Justin slowly walks toward Alex, eyes on each other the whole time. Each small step Justin takes making them more nervous. They break eye contact when he turns to unlock the door, then he stays there, holding the door open, waiting while she comes in.

After closing and locking the door, Justin takes a second to breathe deeply, preparing for whatever may come. Then he turns around, and Alex is right there, inches apart from him, her eyes locked on his with a blank expression that feels both hopeful and threatening.

But the answer comes quickly. Alex takes one step closer, their bodies are almost touching, and she looks at him with her fierce expression, as if daring him to take the next step.

It doesn't take much for Justin to decide what he wants. He hugs Alex, pulling her in and leans down to her lips. They kiss, no hold-backs, fully aware of what they are doing and desiring all of it. In midst their passionate kiss, Alex clutches both sides of Justin's shirt, bringing him as close as she can.

The kiss seems to last an eternity. When they break to take their breaths, they can only stand apart for a couple of seconds before desire forces them to engage again. Alex is not confused anymore. If anything, this kiss showed her how much she wants him now. The sense of his lips caressing hers, feeling his tongue touching hers, is so explosive that feels like she will never be able to get away from him.

When Alex legs hit the edge of Justin's bed, she realizes that the floating sensation she was feeling was actually him carrying her there. Then Justin lets go of her. He doesn't want to repeat what happened in Alex's room. If anything is going to happen, will be by her choice.

Alex looks up at Justin. She understands. She knows what he is thinking, and that he does not want to force her. The way she chooses to show him what she wants is by running her hands up his chest and taking the first button of his shirt.

After going down the whole line of buttons, Alex looks up at Justin. She puts one knee over the bed, then the other, using him as support, then she kneels back to the middle of the bed. She takes the dress and slowly pulls it all the way up and off her head, leaving her only in her panties and a tight shirt that clings to her curves perfectly. Justin disposes of his shirt and goes over the bed. They kiss again.

In no time, they are naked, but there is no weirdness in this, only desire. And they have their first time, their first night together. To Justin's surprise, Alex is not virgin anymore. It's not much of a shock, though. She is a beautiful, intelligent, strong girl, and whenever she felt like it was the right time, she would go head first. And so isn't he, so he would never think about judging her for it.

For Alex and Justin, their first time is perfect. Not only because it was what they wanted, but also because they are together. And this is what they are, being siblings does not matter anymore, only that they are in love.

Alex doesn't know exactly how or when it happened, but she wakes up pillowing on Justin's chest. She slowly lifts her head to look up at him, and he is awake, looking at her. She cuddles back down. Sure she could leave but it is too cozy and too warm to pass. All she wants for now is to enjoy this moment, when she is with him again after months of his absence.

However, Alex is here for more than happy moments. She leaves Justin's chest and lies on the pillow beside him. The concern is clear on her face when she looks at him.

"What do we do now?" Alex asks.

"Well … We either try get to the way things were between us or we find a way to make this work."

"I know that, genius!" Her usual sarcasm back at play, but she continues back at being serious. "I mean, how can we make this work?"

"Are you serious about trying to?"

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here."

Justin takes Alex's hand, intertwining their fingers. "I don't know. … … I spent so much time trying get over you. Never thought about how to make it work."

"We'll have to lie to everyone we know." Alex sadly points.

"I know. And, if we try to use magic to help us out, we'll have to be careful, because the Council keeps track of the spells we cast." Justin adds.

"Yeah! … Wait! What?" Alex jumps, surprised.

"Haven't you noticed?"

"Every single spell?"

"Yeah. While we are still wizards in training."

"Dammit!" Alex curses, emphatically.

"What did you do?" Justin asks, worried.

"You mean ever since I gained my powers? A lot!" Alex falls back on the bed.

"Okay, don't worry. We'll be careful." Justin assured her.

"Great! Because if they do check on my spell history, I'm screwed."

"They won't. We'll be very sneaky."

"Yeah! I'm good at being sneaky."

"And then, after you graduate, things will get easier. We both could move somewhere to go to college. There will be nobody to hide from."

"Move out? Really?" Is he seriously suggesting that? Moving out from their parents' home, and together?

Justin rolls over Alex, their faces only an inch apart. "We could be together all the time without being afraid of getting caught."

"Are you sure you wanna be with me ALL the time?" She asks playfully.

"Yes. I'm in love with you. And love is blind." Justin can have his fun too.

"Okay!" Alex agrees with a smile.

"And deaf."Justin continues, making Alex a little worried about where this is going.

"And dumb." There he goes.

"Hey!" Alex protests. She knows what he means. That he has to be really dumb to agree moving in somewhere with her. But he kisses her before she can protest more.

They rest for a few more minutes.

"It's getting late, maybe you should go back home." Even not being happy about saying it, Justin knows they can't take the risk.

"Don't worry. I told Mom I would be with you. She's not expecting … you know … … birth control to be involved."

Alex draws some laughs from Justin.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny!"

"Yeah, it is!"

"Whatever!" Alex says. "So, what now? We keep meeting here, like this? I'm not sure it is a good idea to be seen all time, meeting up and then staying together until late hours."

"Maybe we don't have to." Justin assures, but Alex gives him a mad face. "Be seen, I mean." He corrects, before he pays the price.

"Oh! What's your idea?"

"I think I can create a portal between your room and this room."

"So much for the 'being careful with magic' theory." Alex mocks Justin.

"No. I think I can do it without anybody noticing it." Justin says, excited.

"This is a complicated spell. How?"

"Well, in your room will be easy, I can turn your closet into a portal that only you and I could open. But here I can do it by putting a spell on an object, like a box. Then the spell will be concealed."

"Do you think nobody will notice?" Alex worries.

"Maybe when I cast the spell, but after that, I don't think so." Justin says with a smile, sure this is their best chance for now.

"Okay. When do we do this?"

"I'm going home this weekend for a visit. I'll do it then. And we test it at night." Justin says, excited, anxious to test the spell.

"Okay. We'll try it then. I better go home. It is really getting late."

Alex gets up from the bed and dresses back up, watched by Justin. She spends some time fixing her hair - using Justin's products, by the way - and soon she is ready to go. Justin puts on some clothes to give Alex proper goodbyes.

"I gotta go, now." Alex finally concludes, sad that she has to go and wait to only see him on the weekend, but aware that their parents are worried and anxious to know how things went. She inches to the door when Justin jumps from the bed. He takes her hand, flips her around and pulls her closer.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Justin asks with a smile.

Alex takes a look around the room and finds nothing. Then she looks down at herself, puts her hand on her back. "I even put on my bra."

"NO!" Justin curses. "I said I loved you more than once. You haven't told me yet."

Alex brings out a grin, looking at his annoyed expression. She leans in and kisses his lips for some time. After, she pulls back and reaches for both of his hands on her back, holding them and unwrapping from her body. She holds both of his hands in front of her, still looking at him with a smile.

"Not my style. Bye." She tries to turn around to go to the door but Justin holds her hand and pulls her back in.

"Say it!" Justin insists, playfully.

"No!" Alex denies him.

Justin pushes Alex against the door, pinning her trapped. "Ouch!" She complains when her back hits the door.

"Say it or I will keep you here the whole night."

"I could hit you!"

"You won't." Justin defies her.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you love me." Justin's assertion is so confident that Alex's will starts to fade.

"I really have to go." She says with a lot less strength. Not that many people would notice but that is Alex's version of beging. And of course Justin knows that.

He leans closer, pressing his body against hers. "NO!" Justin's fierce warning makes her break, and that's a first.

"I love you." She finally gives in.

Justin gives a big grin and gives her some space. "See? It wasn't that hard."

"Are you kidding? It was painful." She states.

"Then, maybe, a kiss can take the pain away."

"Hmm. Maybe!"

Justin kisses Alex again. One last kiss before she goes. And they break apart. Justin moves away and Alex opens the door.

"Bye!" Alex sadly says.

"Bye!" Justin responds, letting Alex go.

As Justin said, on the weekend he comes back home to visit his parents. Teresa and Jerry can't help but cheer when Justin and Alex behave with each other just as they have always done. Last night, Justin called Alex and told her exactly that. Yeah, like he would have to tell her. She was planning to, anyway. A girl gotta have her fun, isn't it. And teasing him would have a whole new special flavor now. Imagine what new weapons she can use. He so would suffer with puns about them.

At night, Justin puts the spell on Alex's closet. They test it and it works perfectly. Really, at this point, Alex should not be impressed by his skills with magic anymore. They spend some time together in her room, not long enough to get anyone suspicious, though. Through the weekend they enjoyed any time together when they could, anywhere they could be alone. Before leaving, Justin sneaked in Alex's room to give her, let's say, a proper goodbye.

They keep meeting, almost every day. Mostly just to be together for some time. When their meetings are "a little longer," Alex makes a double of herself and leaves it on the bed, sleeping. Early in the morning, Justin wakes her up - what doesn't she do for love - so she can get back to her room before their parents wake up. They have tried to go to the movies, but not in New York. They take the IPP and go somewhere far, where no one would recognize them, and after the session they walk around, holding hands, have a proper date. But going to the movies doesn't last long, their different tastes for films ruin everything. Instead, now they just go somewhere to have a date.

That is life for them so far. Nobody got even near of finding out about them at home, not even at WizTech. They are still talking about what they are going to do when Justin's internship ends, and both of them have to go to college. But Alex is leaving that for Justin, he is the one that worries about the future. Alex plans are only about where they are going on their next date.

* * *

Hey, people. This is my first story, so please review and tell me what you think. Thank you for reading, hope everyone enjoyed.


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